This author is currently on hiatus for the ignoble cause of mugging. The public is advised to remain calm, as this routine protocol has been shown to have no effect on one's violent tendencies in 96% of cases.
| Wednesday, September 27, 2006 |
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It all started when I was too sian to start revising for my end-of-year exams, yet I can't play games. I decided to blog, but i could not find a suitable topic. So I asked Yiyong this simple question: "Could you give me something to blog about? T.T" And he replied with this list of wacked words. And even as I type out this post, he is still spamming me with phrases. I suspect soemone is even more bored than me. I decided to run a php script to pick out about 5% of the words in the list for this post. So i did a quick script in 5 minutes and crossed my fingers, hoping i didn't get something as wacked as "Etranger Chevalier". The results: The following phrases were randomly picked from the list: I took up the challenge of creating a blog post with that "inspiration". Enjoy the following short essay which attempts to include all those phrases. x.x PS this post is mainly for me to pass my time, so it might contain lots of crap. The idle sniper was perched atop the Great Wall of China. He was camping. As in, the CS type of camping, not the Scout type of camping. Duh. How he wished he was an author. To write books as famous as George Orwell's 1984 or William Golding's The Spire was his dream, except that he would be the Chinese translator of those books. Even being a pole dancer is better than this, he sighed. Being an idle camper was stupid - all you could do was to open up can after can of Trader Joe's Hearty Red Bean Vegetarian Stew, which the Chinese Army provided for free. It was the cheapest food on the market, so it made economical sense for all soldiers to be fed with the stew, and nothing else, for 3 times a day. Or wait for the rare order from the generals. Like "Company Alpha and Omega, meet at point Lily now!" WAIT. Did that just come from his walkie-talkie? Dang. He discarded his bow of delicious stew and hurried towards Lily, which was the codename for the massage parlour. "Why the first and last companies, Sir?" The sniper asked his general. "Because I said so, duh!" he barked back in reply. "ATTEN-TION! All here?" A resounding "Yes, Sir!" and a stamp of feet told him so. "Okay! I want company Alpha to do the massaging, while Omega gets to enjoy first! After that, switch!" There was a general moan from the soldiers. "Why no chio bu, Sir?" A tiny little recruit piped up. "Because of the new rule which permits generals to have polygamy, duh!" The general laughed. "Now, everyone, to your stations!" Soldiers are not trained in massage. Rather, they are taught how to pull pins out from grenades, and hand-to-hand combat. Thus, the shouts of "Ow! Ow! ARRGH!" from the ones being massaged came as no surprise as the "masseurs" attempted to apply their combat skills to their task at hand. The general smiled in satisfaction as he noticed that everyone was enjoying the service. Suddenly, cries of shock came from outside. The general's walkie-talkie sputtered to life, within hearing range of all the soldiers. "An archer has just arrow-bombed our nuclear reactor! Its gonna blow - AHHHHHHH!" Everyone panicked. The soldiers acting as masseurs gripped tightly whichever part their hands happened to be on, while the victims were too petrified to even shout in pain. The last thing the idle sniper saw was a toxic neon green sweeping over him. ~ .THE END. ~ Like i said, that was crap. xD |
'Twas teh winnar at 9:22 pm.
