This author is currently on hiatus for the ignoble cause of mugging. The public is advised to remain calm, as this routine protocol has been shown to have no effect on one's violent tendencies in 96% of cases.
| Tuesday, September 12, 2006 |
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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. Except that he is ugly duckling reloaded. So although he is still as black, Mama duck and Papa duck love him dearly and treat him like their son. However, the ugly duckling was mocked by the other grey ducklings. "What big eyes you have! What dark feathers you have!" They would occasionally snigger at the ugly duckling. For it was true; he did have big eyes and was dark-coloured. So the ugly duckling felt very sad, but he did not quack angrily back at them and laughed along with them. "All the better for spying!" He would reply with a laugh. The ugly duckling seemed like a nice duck to the other ducks, so they accepted him, althought they still beared a little grudge against him for his differences, but they controlled it. Then one day, something happened. Something BAD. Something catastrophic. Something that would change the ugly duckling's life forever! It all started when Mama duck and Papa duck brought the ugly duckling out to the lake to teach him how to swim. He was a good learner and was just paddling along well behind Papa duck and Mama duck, when suddenly...he was attacked! "Ow! It hurts! Something's biting me on my leg! I'M GONNA DIE!" suddenly wailed the ugly duckling in pain. Papa duck and Mama duck quickly swam over to rescue their beloved son out of the water. "It's just an ikan bilis (anchovy)!" Papa duck exclaimed when he saw the wound. But the ugly duckling wasn't listening. He was to petrified to do or say anything, for that matter. "How terrible for such an evil to befall you!" Papa duck continued. "We must seek help at once!" So Mr. Quak the ducktor was summoned. He used a feather to wipe away the blood, and the ugly duckling felt much better. "Papa, Mama...im so scared of ikan bilis! It almost killed me!" he sobbed. "Don't worry, my duck, we understand how you feel", Mama duck told him. "We mustn't allow you into the water again!" The next day, the other grey ducklings came to visit the ugly duckling. "OMGWTFBBQMUSH, I heard you can swim liao! Wanna go splashing with us in the lake?" they asked. But even before the ugly duckling could reply, mama duckling cut in. "No, he is not ever going out into the water again! See, he was bitten by ikan bilis, and now he has a phobia of it! He might die of fright or bite should we allow him to go swimming again!" And so it continued like that. Every time the grey ducks went to find the ugly duckling, Mama duck would shoo them away. Slowly but surely, the grey ducks began to ostracise him, for he never joined in their activities because of Mama duck's refusal to let him do so. And the ugly duckling also felt very isolated and alone, for he did not go out with the others. He felt very redundant. And because the ugly duckling did not go out with the other grey ducklings, they began mocking him, calling him names such as "nerduck" and "mama's duck", both of which are deregatory terms in duckslang. "Do not utter such bad words!" the ugly duckling would quack back in return, "Mama duck says its very bad!" But the grey ducks simply laughed back at him in return. They ignored him and continued calling him names. The ugly duckling ran home crying to mama duck, complaining that the other ducks were treating him unfairly. Mama duck decided to get professional help and a well-respected duck counsellor was called in. He talked to the grey ducks about the situation of the ugly duckling, and that they should put aside differences and try to accept and tolerate him, for he had been brought up so. The grey ducks followed the duck counsellor's advice. So they stopped calling the ugly duckling names and started trying to make friends with him again. But he still felt extremely prejudiced against them for all they had done to him before. He decided to tell Papa duck about his unhappiness. Papa duck answered in frustration, "If they can't learn, then I will teach them a lesson." So Papa duck began spreading rumours about how the grey ducks had planned for the 13/37 attacks, which was to waddle into the Swan Lake Centre and peck it down; how they did not stick to the duckian philosophy and values; but worst of all, *to be continued. this short story is not over yet!* Go to the Present >> |
'Twas teh winnar at 11:53 pm.
