My Game of Life

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Last night, some of my relatives and i went to the wake of my cousin's second uncle, held at the void deck of his house. (Yeah, that explains my gelled hair today.) He died from a heart attack on Saturday, when he was with my cousin's family on the way to Genting for a holiday over the children's day break.

It was just a lot of bad luck that led to his tragic death. He procrastinated on going for health checkups (despite constant reminders from my cousin); their car had a tire puncture so they were delayed; they were on the Malaysian highway so the ambulance took rather long to arrive; and the Malaysian hospitals/ambulances were rather poorly equipped so they could not help him in time. Sadly, he might have stood a chance of survival had he still be in Singapore.

What I heard was that he was okay b4 they left Singapore, then in the car, he suddenly started coughing for about 30 mins. But nothing seemed wrong and they stopped at a petrol station to refuel, and it was then that his condition started deteriorating very rapidly so they quickly called for an ambulance. Sadly, KL - the nearest city - was a 30 mins drive away, so it took a whole hour for the ambulance to get to him and ferry him to hospital. By the time they got there, his heart was beating at barely 20 bpm (the usual is 90+) and although he was attended to by a heart specialist, help came too little and too late.

I suppose its just fate that their holiday turned out so horribly.

When we arrived at the wake, some of the mourners were standing around the coffin in the middle of praying for the deceased (my cousin's family and relatives are mostly Christian). A chilly breeze was blowing through the brightly lighted area, and I shivered. My aunt and her husband came over to chat with us first. I could tell that my aunt had been grieving very much, for she looked a little haggard, with puffy eyes. She was also no longer her usual chirpy self, although I could tell she was trying to lighten the mood and smiling despite holding back her tears. At one point she even started sobbing again before quickly stifling her tears again, and I turned away for I could not bear to see her in such a state.

However, her husband still seemed as usual. He was a little more solemn than usual, but other than that, he was still chatting rather animatedly and even laughing. He was almost like his usual self, and you could hardly tell that he had just had gone thorugh a weekend full of hardship.

Fortunately, my second uncle was a bachelor, so he did not have a wife or children who would be severely affected.

Thus, I had expected my cousin to be the worst hit from this sudden death, for it was my second uncle who often brought him out. They were very close, all the more since my cousin's family stayed just one storey above him. But he also did not seem affected too much, coming over to greet us after the prayers. Similarly, the other uncles still seemed quite okay despite the loss of their borther.

My mother told me that it was lucky that they were Christians, thus they were able to cope with the death so well. Since they believe in God, they believed that the passing of my second uncle was due to fate, and that he had gone home to join the Lord. With this positive attitude, they are able to get the death behind them and move ahead, knowing that their loved one is at peace.

It was time for us to pay our respects to my uncle. My went up to the coffin, and my mother took one look and started crying. I followed behind and looked through the small glass panel of the coffin. My uncle's face looked so serene, yet so pale, so unlike him. The sudden thought that he would never be around again, that I would never be going out with him again, never laugh at his jokes again struck me heavily. I held back my tears as I followed my mother, who was dabbing away at her tears rolling down her face, back to our table.

Later, my uncle told us that he was probably at peace when he left this world, despite the horrific way in which he died. He had spent his life fruitfully, enjoying it to the max, being at the golden age of 57 and already almost about to retire. Furthermore, he left with his family members by his side, whom he had loved dearly. It was probably what he had wanted.

I really pity my cousin the most, for he is only in primary school, yet he has to go through the suffering of losing a loved one. For myself, I have only been to a funeral once when I was still a young kid, that of my then-great-grandmother's. I was still immature and innocent back then, so I was not particularly affected.

Fortunately (or not), although I sometimes go out with my second uncle, I am not really very close to him, so his passing did not impact me as great as it probably did to my cousin's family and relatives.

Thus far, this is my closest encounter with death, and it made me realise how we take life for granted. We always procrastinate in fulfilling some tasks with someone, thinking "There's always tomorrow," but one fine day there will be no tomorrow, and it will be too late to regret not spending your time with the deceased not satisfactorily enough.

Of course, I'm sure you've always seen the above sentiment in books, drama serials, and um, spam mail. And we see reports on death after death in the newspapers. But you really never take it seriously, taking it as a "Duh, obvious" statement...until it happens to someone close to you. Only then does it seem as true and real, as in my case.

Rest in peace, Harold Tan.

UPDATE: Thanks for all the condolences guys, I really appreciate it! =)

'Twas teh winnar at 7:52 pm.