This author is currently on hiatus for the ignoble cause of mugging. The public is advised to remain calm, as this routine protocol has been shown to have no effect on one's violent tendencies in 96% of cases.
| Monday, October 09, 2006 |
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This is especially for people like Nicholas who somehow manage to complete their paper in 1/2 the time. =P And the usual (again)... DISCLAIMER: The writer of the following guide will not be responsible if you are disqualified from your exams due to suspicious behavious after following the following guide. In short, try it at your own risk. Enjoy! ;) AMATEURS GUIDE TO SLACKING OFF AFTER FINISHING YOUR PAPER Have 2 hours for your examinations but miraculously manage to complete them in only 1 hour? Not sure of what to do with the remaining time? Then this is just the guide for you! Not only does it gives you ideas of how to while away the extra time (for they say time is money), the tips are also arranged according to least efficient to most efficient! So read on! #1. Check...and check... ...and check your paper again. This means that even if you've already checked through it 10 times and is unable to find any errors, you should still check again! After all, you still have a 0.1% chance of spotting an error worth 0.5 marks, right? **!!Teacher's Recommendation!!** (but not for this guide) #2. Drum your Fingers Yep, just idly drum your fingers on your table. Additionally, you could loll your head to one side on your table, giving a very bored look. Lol. However, this is not recommended for a few reasons: 1. You might tire out your fingers. 2. You might disturb those around you and their parents may complain because you distracted them to such an extent that they were unable to concentrate and achieve full marks. 3. The invigilator might think you are trying to convey your answers via a secret method of finger-rhythm to that guy at the opposite corner of the room. #3. Make Models No, not of yourself. I'm talking about when you use your stationery, rubber bands and plastic strips from newspapers to make models of aircraft, or slides, or space shuttles, or whatever you can think of. A ruler is essential. You may also start moving them about, holding them in your hands and "whooshing" them through the air, imagining they are flying. However, this is again not recommnded because of a couple of reasons: 1. The people sitting around you may think you are weird, especially if you still do this in secondary school. 2. The invigilator might think your are the next Einstein, creating a device (under the mask of stationery) which can emit electromagnetic pulses to a radio receiver embedded in the watch of the guy sitting in the opposite corner, which then displays your answers. #4.Fiddling About with Stationery At least this isn't as bad as making models out of them. You could practice the art of spinning pens between your fingers, then raising your Fiddle Skill level. However, you may drop your pen on the ground every few seconds or so, which would pobably irritate the invigilator because he/she has to bend down ever so often to pick up your pen. Eventually he/she might just dao you so you'll have to pick it up yourself, unfortunately. #5. Kicking the Chair of your Neighbour Yep, just extend your legs and try to prod/push/pull/kick the chair of the person in front of you. However, this is not advisable if you have sexy smooth long legs, because then everyone will start oogling at them and be too distracted to carry on with the test. You may also receive lots of fan mail later. #6. Imitating Someone Else This is an interesting way to pass your time. Try to see if you can follow the actions of your friend sitting next to you! However, do not attempt pulling up your pants as high as Ms. Teo CC's in an attempt to imitate her. #7. Staring at the Invigilator See whether your skills can match up to that of the Bishan paedophile, who likes staring at schoolchildren. If you manage to unnerve the teacher, then you can buy a briefcase and start your job of stalking other children! However, this is not advised if the invigilator involved in male, for he might think that you are gay and this that he is gay too. Also, you are not encouraged to try this if the invigilator is ugly, for she might start thinking that she is sexy and you are thus oogling at her. Teachers who you may be able to do this on: Ms. Sarah Foo, Mr. Bernard Ong Teachers who you are very, strongly, extremely not advised to try on: Ms. Teo CM, Mr. Kevin Cheng. #8. Sleeping Yeah, go on, since you've mugged till 3 am last **Highly recommended by this guide** And with this 8 suggestions, you will never get bored after completing your exam papers ever again! Woohoo! |
'Twas teh winnar at 9:44 pm.
